through the best of times

so yesterday we played sims from 5pm to 5am. and there was a thunderstorm and we didn't even notice. me and anna are happily engaged with our hubbys on the sims. haha we're college students so we can't get married until we graduate. i love anna. im gonna miss her so much when she leaves to NY on the 6th. I'm gonna let her borrow my polaroid camera and shes bringing souvenirs for me. i bet she has no idea i haven't forgotten about that rock she gave me. its on my cd rack. and i still have to buy bedding for syd next time i come over. i hope i dont look back on this and ever say "I wish it was like this again" i think thats the thing that I fear most right now. Getting so attached to someone and then losing them. I think its safe to say shes becoming the best friend i ever had. she makes me happy

So when you go, tell me where are you going.

There's a sunset every evening, you miss in your car leaving to wherever it is that you're going.


I finally sent them. I hope she gets them soon. I dont know what to do with my life. I wonder how Walter is doing. He's mine and anna's mouse. When we bought him it was raining outside. I bought this shower curtain that I waiting to set up. And I finally have like twenty stamps.Its so nice getting a paycheck. Next Sunday is Warp Tour. I hope I don't go by myself. I really want to see Andrew McMahon live. I need to start getting better at recharging my phone. and I have yet to order 120 film for my Diana. I'm dying to use it. Its pretty bad.

she said sunset boulevard will take me home

Ashley and I watched the departed at Jose's house. and then we went to her's. and we watched the wedding singer and had like 15 minutes of pillow fighting. she knocked me out with the pillow at my face and then I played dead for awhile. so then i got right back up and knocker her out too. lol it was fun. i was drooling all over the place. then i told her all these secrets and she told me stuff too. and then i went home and played grand theft auto while Julia texted me about her day at the soccer field with z. i thought it was nice. i'm trying to get two bucks but its real hard Julia. Don't worry, you won your bet, I'm gonna pay you. I miss anna. she wants me to go to NY with her but I told my mom and she said No. she thinks i get crazier and crazier everyday. I dont want summer to end. oh and I can't stop listening to Bastard of Midnight. I think theres only one person that probably gets it. and shes miles and miles away. oh and I had to Make my mom a sandwich tonight and rub her feet so I can have permission to go to annas on Sat, thats if she's still up for it..

and where have you gone

Why do you run?
Why do you hide?
And where have you gone?
Where have you gone?
Where have you gone?



I have like seven letters to send out. Tomorrow is final. I'm getting the stamp booklet. I'm so happy I started my period already. That way I don't have to worry about getting it the day ace is here. I miss my boys. Isaac, ben, dave, Joe. I just felt like writing it. Kate you've been really moody lately. and as much as I wish I could be there for you like before, I don't think it could ever be that way again. You didn't do anything wrong. but when we stopped talking, it wasn't because we wanted it. Things were changing in our lives and we didn't find room to fit anything in our conversations. Now you want things to be the way they were before,but you can't decide to wake up one morning and ask for that all back. You put me through alot. You made me feel sorry for you. you wanted me to be alone and just have only you as a friend. You have said things that really hurt me. You weren't there when I needed you but I was always there for you. even when we didn't talk for months. Its been a year since all this change. You can't force a friendship to happen.I'm not saying I don't want you in my life anymore. Your still one of my good friends. but thats all. We cant call our selfs best friends if we really aren't. Stop behaving the way you do. It makes me sadder than ever. Maybe one day our list will happen. Remember? I remember. and I always told myself one day we'll make it happen. Its a shame to walk away from everything i know, from everything I want and leave you here all alone. I miss us too. but if its not working, we can't do anything about it. we're trying and we'll pull through. Just you watch. I'm so so sorry for being like this. just dont say I never cared

we watched garden state

Julia and I watched garden state together. and these were the best parts. "He said that right exactly as I read it" and then I made a wish at 11:11. today was great. I have this beautiful card/letter that anna made me. and I want to keep it forever. it means so much. that is all

And thats how the world began.

Anna and I saw Freddie Prinze JR when we we're eating rasberry almond crepe. because we could see everything from where we sat, which by the way was by a window and stools. then after we debated whether it was really him or not we walked in the ladys room when "an obese women" was urinating. it was so gross. anna stormed out the door. we couldn't get over it. then we crossed streets and shared talk. it was nice. i miss her. i really do because I never thought I could become so close with someone so fast. and she feels the same. we talked about it already. I don't care what any one says or what happened before all of this, but I'm happy. I haven't felt like this in a long time. Summer so far is having its perks. Its perfect and I love every single minute of it. It kind of reminds me of this quote off my favorite movie. (I promise I'm not gay) "You changed my life. You changed my life, and I've known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go." I think I'm gonna sleep great tonight. I really hope this road trip works out. I want to go to the city limit festival so bad now.

just take a look at the line up. do this huge favor for the both of us.
http://www.aclfestival.com/lineup.aspx

I want share this with someone so bad

teenage riot

what can I say?

I had a blast. we fed bread to the ducks and we sat on the docks and talked for what seemed like forever, we watched a bunch of old guys cover the beatles, which by the way were beyond great, we ate ice cream cones, we revisited borders where I met my ben and i told her about it, we had water fights, we drove and felt infinite, she secretly took pictures of me when I wasn't looking, we picked flowers, we played wii fitness lolll :D

p.s.

I'm so relieved right now. =))
i think everything is going really good

"Jeannette's stufffff"

Today I read all of Julia's letters to my mom. So Julia if your reading this, my mom couldn't stop smiling from all of your ramble lol. Because I put all of the stufff that's important to me in this pretty purple new box I bought. Ashley inspired me to buy it haha. It has all of my polaroids and letters and seashells and my pit bracelet from July 13 and all my tickets stubs and the sharpie augustana used to sign my cd and dan's pick and old flowers in a napkin and more polaroids and my diary and yeah. I still want to add more stuff in it, but I think time is gonna adjust that. I went to the doctors today. and I have pink eye. ew and I have to miss work today and tomorrow and today I was suppose to see you know who. ehh =/ I can't wait for my shirt to come in the mail. I think its perfect. I'm gonna go back to tucking myself in bed and listen to ace enders and write letters even though I have no stamps right now. hee byeee

friday. the 13th

today was kind of perfect =)
i heard cable car when we were walking away from the pool
last year friday the 13th on July was The fray

Your heartbeat plays my favorite song

today was a weird day. I did the nature walk by myself and Ashely was suppose to come with me but instead she stayed in the car with her boyfriend. He forgot to pick us up so she was being ridiculously emotional. &I got mad. she called my phone later that day and we made up. I ended up staying at her house talking about stufff, sorting through all her notes, and me straighting her hair lol
I'm enjoying summer while its here.

whatever.

love always, me

On the count of three, we run

I drove today. and ashley was in the passenger seat and I wasn't paying attention so I drove on the curb. Ashley wouldn't stop laughing. then we went to her house and I met her grandma for the first time. and we talked a lot to her, she was real nice. Her room is purple. We're gonna go swimming soon. I'm looking forward to it. After we ate there was a field near us so we both ran until we got to the flowers. we were laughing so hard.

&one last straw could be strong enough to make this work

Happiness

SING ME TO SLEEP. i miss isaac. i miss everything about him. like when he would wear those camo shorts all the time and just happened to wear them before my show started. just like that plaid shirt. its not what he wears its just how he wears it, you know? and why he wears them. I hope hes enjoying his time off with his wifey, i bet she misses him everytime he goes away. =/ i miss our glances we exchanged during our show, it was just so intense standing there looking at those boys play their heart outtt. because I wait for so many months for them to come and it just feels so unreal. I miss his handshake. I swear he held it so tight. like he knew. he just did. I miss that face he puts on when he's serious. lol he put it on when he played happiness. http://youtube.com/watch?v=lOZk9Ly2jXM
and during look after you. i had a dream one night where he reached his hand out at another show on that same tour. I got so upset. I remember recording and he was soo near me and one of the girls was screaming her head off and she reached her hand out and nothing happened but i felt like i just had to reach out to him. and he reached for mine. I wont ever forget that. ever. Or when I met him in November 2006 and I told him I was Jeannette and he was all like "I know.." True story. I love thinking about the fray. I love them so much. and I miss them so bad. Like I think about it and soon their gonna be back on tour!! with their new album and everythinggg and i'm so happy because its been like a year not hearing from them and it SUCKS. I'm in such a fray mood. like hearing from them just gives me all these memories. and no one will ever take my place in that fray board. even after I'm gone all those years. I swear its so boring now. I used to post everyday ahaha and i love that board a lot but lately I dont want to be surrounded by a bunch of 14 year olds. I remember I was that young on the fray boarddddddd

til spring when the sun can finally be free

On the bus mall

I have a terrible headache. and I dont like someone right now. and I'm sick of working all the fucking time. and myspace is being so gay to me. or maybe its my stupid retarded computer. i swear its retarded sometimes. and because of it, I can't watch Ace's fucking video he posteddd. I have to go to my dads this weekend. and every weekend after that. because mom says so. but I like going to my dads. Its great over there but my head hurts. i dont think i've eaten normal yet. I can't wait til I get a huge paycheck. theres this shirt I want to buy offline. and I need my new camera. all of this is driving me crazy. I hate people who are just so out of it. like why would you do such a thing? Whatever that is, its not making anything better. I hate feeling nostalgic. its the worst feeling in the world. I think I just need to some time off. Or maybe not. IDK

"In matching blue raincoats
Our shoes were our show boats
We kicked around.
From stairway to station
We made a sensation
With the gadabout crowd.
And oh, what a bargain,
We're two easy targets
For the old men at the off-tracks,
Who've paid in palaver
And crumpled old dollars,
Which we squirreled away
In our rat trap hotel by the freeway.
And we slept-in Sundays."

when Houston's never raining

i remember everthing being so quiet when they started. It sounds kinda loud there but it wasn't like that at all.

I swear I never thought I was gonna see them play that live and they did. that song reminds me of so much.

MEET YOU THERE.

i had Jessica to record it for me because yeah. "The truth is, you know I'm having a moment right now where everything makes sense."

THEY DONT GET IT


When i heard him i had still frames of it being acoustic and all. he changed it for the better

god.


and finally Fire, part two as I'd like to call it.



"I COULD WATCH YOU DANCE FOR HOURS"


=)

so last night.

I was so happy that it was already starting
I got right in front of center stage. and the wait while they set up and junk was nice. They had a real lovely playlist.
Like regina spektor, sufjan stevens, the beatles, and stars. My phone was out of battery by then. It kept turning off. It was so lame. because
I wanted to text Julia about everything but I couldn't. Pattie Casey was absolutely amazing. He opened first and I swear I couldn't get my eyes
off of him one bit. He was so into his music and as was I. He has this southern irish accent so it made me chucklle a bit. He said hes enjoying Texas.
Wild Sweet Orange were next. Lead singer was drunk as shit. but he sung amazing. I remember I got goosebumps when he sung about sunrises and leaving.
"So when you go, tell me where are you going
'Cause there's no place you can run to, forget all your longing
So forget where you're going"
I fell in love.
augustana was absolutely terrific. because i think they sung there heart out. and there just so damn good live. My favorite part was when they sung meet you there
and sunday best. and hey now and dust hahaha jeez, those boys know how to rock. I promise I didn't sing along to every single word. Just the times where I felt I needed too. SHOW
WAS AMAZING. and anyone thats seen them knows what I'm talking about.
anyway
show ended and one of the guys that worked at the venue that had hung out with us for like three hours talking with us, got me Dan's pick from on stage. I still can't believe he didn't give me the setlist.
I'm so upset with him. I thought we were cool. but whatever. I still had dans pick. so me and Jessica left. and we bought merch and stufff and I saw pattie casey and the boys from WSO and I really wanted to
talk with them but it was crowded so we left the venue and walked to the corner store and bought us a drink. We went back and sat in front of Augustana's tour bus with a couple of other fans. It was nice because it was
late and hardly any one was around and we felt like a community so as Dan called it. lol he came out of the venue and promised us he would come back in ten mins because he was helping
move around stuff. I remember telling him to keep his promise and he was like I most certainly will. and by then John came out of the bus and we crowded around him haha and he just talked to each of us and signed our stuff and took pictures with us
I talked to himm. About the show and Julia and counting crows. and a bunch of random stuff like Jessica's flashlight service. LOL. she had this real sweet flashlight and while he was sighning the other fans, we were around just listening and laughing while we waited for Dan to come back.
Oh and when I told John about Julia. I told him that we were upset that he didn't include her in the video blog and he started pointing his fingers at chase and said he was the one who took care of all of that so me and chase were going at it. He told me to tell JUlia that next time, ask him
you want to be in the blog and also to wear a shirt reading "I love Chase" LOL and yeah we laughed and he joked mostly about our weather and stuff haha him and John. Oh yeah john said my name was like super long haha and he used my back to sign his name. and spelled my name out. John: "gea" Me:"NOOO, Jea" John: "Thats what I meant hahaha" he's so nice. so while we waited this bum
started asking me and jessica for money and then he asked John for money and we were like no. Dan wasn't lying when He said he was gonna come back. He said where would I go, you guys are right in front of our tour bus! lol a few of us crowded around him. and jessica took her flashlight out haha. and this girl started asking him these questions like about the song reasons and we were listening
to what he was saying about it. He said it was a "demo" that they love trying out and that it was definitely gonna be in there next album which would probably be out in a few years. like three or two. =)) After dan signed my stuff he complimented me on my awesome fabric marker. then I mentioned Julia because I promised her I would do that. and he was like whos julia? and I was like shes a big fan from seattle and he was like "ohhh, you know julia??" and I was like "she's my pen pal" and he looked up and smiled. and he asked me for my name, and I told him "Jeannette" and he was like Jeannette? and i smiled and said yeah and he took his hand out and
then shook my hand real tight. and said Thank you so much. and then before that I mentioned counting crows to him too and he asked me if I was going and was like I dont think I want to miss it for the world. well I was thinking it. and he said "I'll see you there" and dangjadghjab yeah. I asked him about chris and if he was hiding and told me he was still inside and was gonna be out in a few so I just looked at
the other fans get there stuff signed and just watched and smiled. then I remember Jessica said something about someone coming out but I dont know what I was thinking. I think i was looking at John talk haha and then I look the other way where dan was and I see Jared there. and i was like JARED! and jessica was like I told you like a long time ago and i was like asjkodghadgjh
so I walked his way where dan was and he was already signing stuff and I was kinda nervous because last October he was kind of cold. and so I felt my knees start to quake. and I smiled and he smiled and I asked him if he could sign my stuff and he had a pen and i was like uh heres my sharpie/fabric marker and he was like thankss and he signed my stuff and then I talked to him about how I the last time I spoke to him was in October and
he was like "Yeah yeah when we opened for dashboard!" and was like YES!! and he laughed and I told him that they seriously needed to tour with them real soon and he was like "actuallllly we might again" and i was like NO WAY and i said "that would be HANDS DOWN, AWESOME" and he laughed hard and said "haha i like that, that was cool" and i said "seriously those guys are great." and I told him about counting crows and that he was real excited about that. and I told
him I was gonna make it and he was nice about it. OMG. AND THEN I TOLD HIM while he was signing some stuff I said "Jared, the asain sensation" and he laughedddddd and he said "Half asain" and was like "ohhh yeah!" while he was taking a picture lol. and he still had my sharpie/fabric marcker. and I had the top and he tapped me and said "here's your marker" and he was like i dont know where the top is and I looked at him and showed it to him and he smiled real big and was like "nicee" =) and so then I just left him alone. I think i was hogging him from the other fans. baha
then we saw chris. he was sitting down in a bench. because he was drunk as shit. LOL. and I walked over. and there was this other chik that was just there drinking too next to him. and i was like may you? and he was like Of course! and he signed it for me and I tried talking to him but not for long. he was out of this world. but he was really nice about taking a few pictures with me. we took like two. and I accidently made him get up. I didn't mean too lol. =/ and I said thanks and bye and see you next time. and he just gave me a guilty smile. So there's that.


theres so much more but I can't remember it all.
but I have a few videos of them playing. I'll see if I can put them up..

summer in the city

augustana todayyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and my phone is out of batter for leaving my charger at my dads house. ah I'm so stupid.



I will rise up early and dress myself up nice
And i will leave the house and check the deadlock twice.
And i will find a crowd and blend in for a minute
And i will try to find a little comfort in it.
And i will get lonely and gasp for air.
And send your name up from my lips like a signal flare.

And i will go downtown, stand in the shadows of the buildings
And button up my coat, trying to stay strong, spirit willing.
And i will come back home, maybe call some friends,
Maybe paint some pictures,
It all depends.
And i will get lonely and gasp for air.
And look up at the high windows, and see your face up there.

i dont know what you did but you got me to fall for you

&I know that its stupid.


So I dont know when I'll see him again but he told me in the future
we were at work just talking about time travel and black holes haha but still a week seems so far away. i dont even think he knows i like him but then again he does all these small simple things that drive me crazy. like shake my hand for eight seconds and call me cutee and write sarcastic notes about how hot i am and call me a dork in a good wayyy? he has this girl friend that he's been with for like 19894564 years and hes like twenty four and is like the coolest guy ever. ah i dont even know. it confuses me so bad and I feel awful for thinking about it so much because he's like not even thinking about me. You know? I'm sososo happy summer is here. I can officially start easing my mind off things and start smelling the breezy air and feel the sweat on my legs when I'm wearing jeans. i think i know what I want to do about him.


AUGUSTANA IS TOMORROW