I'm gonna cry. My brother doesn't know how to drive and that scares me. I think he is the worst driver ever. I don't know how he even got his license. I just don't know how to help him because he doesn't believe any word I say and I'm just trying to help him. Okay we're driving now, gotta keep my eyes on the road...AHHH!!!

In the theater right under the film room waiting for perks to begin rolling. Alone. There's one old couple sitting at the very front and it's just pretty much us three. But I don't mind them, they seem alright. The Levi's ad just came on. I almost got teary eyed. Oh this is going to be lovely. And the really cute guy who tore my ticket smiled at me and I think he gets it.

Days die young

Today was good. I went and took photos at the tranquility park and some drunk man was lying in some bushes faced down haha. And and i kept taking pictures of everything and the sun was setting so it was hitting all the buildings and trees and there were couples walking together and everything was glowing. I felt kinda happy and I kept getting stared at but I kept smiling and not even looking at anyone in the eyes. I want everything to be happy. And I just hope I can catch that through my photos. On the way back my friend played The Fray and he kept singing every word and we were yelling the song at the top of our lungs. Such a good feeling. I'm going to put all there mixed songs on a playlist and burn it on a cd. Like for example the new remix forever more and latiendo :) I told my friend that the fray are my light. And I regret not paying for the meet and greet back in April. What was I thinking when I didn't take advantage. Now I have to wait another two years.

She said, “It’s only in my head.” She said, “I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know.” Like if it’s only in your head. But it doesn’t feel like it’s in my head. It doesn’t feel like it’s in my head. So she said, “Did you think that you were dreaming?” And I said, “No I didn’t think I was dreaming.” So I said, “I just want it to come true. All I need is you.” But the circus is falling down on it’s knees and the big top is just crumbling down. Look it’s raining in Baltimore, 50 miles east where you should be. No ones around. I need a phone call. I need a raincoat. I really need a big love. These train conversations there just passing me by and ain’t got nothing to say except, you know you get what you paid for. But I just have no intention of living this way. I need a phone call and I need a raincoat. Man, I really need a sunburn. See there are these things that I remember and there’s things I forget. I miss you. I guess that I should but you know, it is 3,500 miles away. And what would you change. What would you change if you could? Nothing. So fuck, I need a phone call. Or maybe I should just buy a new car. Cus I can always here the freight train. Baby if I listen real hard. And I wish it was a small world because I’m lonely for big towns.

I am a wallflower

Someone called me evasive today. In other news, I might go and drive myself to see the perks in theaters alone. I can't believe I'm actually gonna go and see the film itself. And it being directed by Stephen Chbosky. I want to get inside his head and see how he sees things through a lens. Oh I just can't wait for it.

In the backyard with a grease cover playing with my huge Sony headphones on and the dark night sky and my thoughts are everywhere. I built a fire today.

That show will never happen the same.

Sé que el pasado no te ha dejado respirar

be·guile/biˈgīl/Verb: 1.Charm or enchant (someone), sometimes in a deceptive way: "every prominent American artist has been beguiled by Maine"; "a beguiling smile".


2.Trick (someone) into doing something.

3 payments left until my car is payed off. I've come a long way! And I just started this hair treatment and I can't wait for my hair to be long and luscious again. Oh and I'm buying a treadmill this paycheck. Time to get fit and healthy. No more buffalo wings for this girl.