The lights in the harbor don't shine for me i'm like a lost ship adrift on the sea

I've been learning how to juggle life lately. In the sense of going back and forth and in circles and trying to not let this "normal" people shit suck the life out of me. And even though I feel so helpless about it somehow I'm always able to receive a sign that nothing hasn't changed and if anything it's stronger than it was before. SO many things have happened that I wish I could share on here. Steve Earle made it to Houston and he talked about Townes and snow covered mountains and a blue dog and it made me think about the fall and the beginning of winter and it was something that I needed to hear. I know I keep saying this but I have to say it again. I'm scared that with time everything will be replaced and I've been getting so used to these moments that truly woke me in a way I never experienced before...so there's just no way in me moving on from it. I think about it almost every single day. I'm having even stronger precognitions in my dreams and now i'm dating this amazing guy since December...and well he knows about my dreams and i have someone to finally share it with. I've saved up for New York in the summer and i've been contemplating to buy my plane ticket so I can make it official. Julia is letting me stay in her apartment and I can't wait to make this finally happen. It hurts so bad that I can't be in New Orleans during Mardi Gra but I don't regret a single thing. I'm looking forward to staying in Brooklyn and I just can't believe this is gonna happen. I meant to write my thoughts sooner. I don't know why I've been bottling it all up. My emotions are really high up there right now. See you very soon.