Gave up her existence to feel everything

Things have been really weird lately. I keep having dreams that end up happening or just really strong connections that tie with reality and it's beginning to mess with my mind. Last night I had a dream about transforming into a werewolf and I was in the hallway prowling on my predator and my dad was trying to calm me down and kept holding a mirror in my face and he showed me what I was turning into. Right when I woke up I checked the time and it was about 5 am and so I decided to get on IG and saw that MiWi La Lupa (who plays bass and vocals with Conor on this tour) liked my photo of Conor and it wasn't until I fully woke up in the morning and noticed he had pictures of wolves everywhere. It got weirder after that. I went on youtube later that day and found this clip of Conor talking about his Cassadaga album and all of a sudden he mentions his song Hot Knives and it being about a woman transforming into a different species and not being able to exist in her reality. After that I listened to Lupa's album for the first time and his song "When You're Gone" in particular grabbed my attention because he's singing "I packed my things, I called my wolves, and I hit the open road" and I kept thinking about my dream and Conor's words and then Conor's voice comes through in the same song and he's now singing about wolves too. I had to take a walk. I felt like a balloon about to burst. I don't know what it all means but I'm really thankful for this "awakening". :/

Anyway, I'm really excited that October is here. I got Julia's letter in the mail and there's just so many new beginnings happening everywhere and I feel okay. I saw white pumpkins today and my freebird boots came in and Somewhere Under Wonderland Vinyl is on the way and I borrowed my friend's ipod and i'm gonna fill it with beautiful music and I'm gonna end the year well.

I keep looking back for artifacts to prove that you were here

Sept. 19, 2014. I laughed, I danced, I cried, and I felt indifferent all at the same damn time. Maybe it was the wanting and giving up on seeing Conor Oberst for more than six years and to see him there plain just fucked me up. I don't really want to get into detail with that night but it's gonna be a performance I won't ever forget. I want to mention tho that his dance moves were on point and his jump mic roping will have me laughing for years to come. Sept. 27 is coming up, that's 6 years since the first time I saw Conor live. I was 17 years old. Alone at Austin City Limits. Anyway, it's this Saturday. I'll go out with a bang. Like Hemingway. Time to CELEBRATE.

I had a dream last night that my brother couldn't talk to me because he was on a plane and he had to put his phone on airplane mode and he was on the way to Miami it was weird because ever since he started his life with his girl we don't talk anymore. It made me sad. I woke up and felt pretty inspired and almost like i was re awaken and now i'm planning a trip to Paris, Texas at the Old Magnolia House and Bed and I'm gonna pick up my cameras again and take pretty polaroids and listen to The Head and the Heart and see where the rode takes me. I hope I can fit something in before the year ends. 2014 was and still is my year.