the end has no end

Its like when you try your hardest and you don't get anywhere. that's exactly what its like for me. and I dont know what the problem is. Or maybe I have my mind set to something I'm still looking for. and I don't know what that is. I have noo idea. I think I haven't found it yet. and I guess I just have to keep digging deeper to get where I'm trying to go. I need to find something that makes me happy. I have. but I'm nowhere near it at this point. not anymore. I dont want a boyfriend. If thats what you have in mind. I need to find someone I can trust forever. I need that right now. I want some kind of figure in my life I can depend on. forever is such a pretty word. what about me? do you care about mee? geez, the strokes gives me heartache. but I like it. I see things clearer. and it makes me sad. this summer was beautiful in ways I can't even begin to start explaining. I want to go back to that time. I don't want to sit here and let the hours pass and dream. I don't want that. but everytime I reach out my hand is pushed away. I'm tired of reaching out. I need to be my own best friend. I think thats what this is. i feel weak right now. weaker than ever. tell me anything, I can't hear you. I'll try but it won't happen. yeah this really sucks right now. I need my headphones. I'm sick of hearing from one ear. I want to go somewhere far and deep where no one can find me and just find myself and scream my lungs out. I need to do it. go listen to the end has no end while driving. its a perfect song