Follow the signs back to you

I forgot to say April Fool's for that romantic post there. There is no doode. Probably won't be for a long time ha! I did leave out some stuff from this month. like when I went to go see the arcade fire i found one of their merch shirts on the ground and when Win Butler invited us to pit and also i accidently got an extra pack of film from the film gods and my luck has completely turned around. I met Dan Layus a couple nights ago. Couldn't really act normal around him so I just asked him to sign my CD. It's incredible how far he's gone and i'm just so happy that he's still around. I can't stop listening to his new album which i really do think is gold. Kevin Devine was phenomenal so I won't be over that in forever. I get to see Ben Kweller next Saturday and it's all happening so fast. I really am feeling overwhelmed. So much beautiful music flowing around me..2014 is going to be my year.

Today

"Human feelings is like the mighty rivers that bless the earth: it does not wait for beauty it flows with risistless force and brings beauty with it."
Those would've been my last words today. I can't tell you how awful it felt running for my life. I'm here replaying the final moment over and over in my head and it is unbearable. I went on a last minute adventure with one of my friends to visit the only trestles I knew of and as we were walking down the tracks we heard the train coming. We were in the middle of the the tracks with no open space and we saw headlights in the distance. With only seconds to run for cover, I started to run back instead of forward. My friend had to yell at me to go the other way and I almost didn't trust him. We must've ran a thousand steps until we found a way to slid under. The train must've been going at least 25mph. I am still shaken up. I almost died today. I just laid there on the rocks and watched the train pass. You know that part when someone says their life flashed before their eyes? I experienced that feeling today. We started to walk back to the car and I almost threw up. I was drinking a skinny vanilla latte and reciting George Eliot on the back of my starbucks cup with my sharpie and a view of the Bevil Jarrel bridge and then that happened. The funniest thing happened once we got in the car, I had my friend play a mix cd of The Fray and "Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World" started to play and we just started laughing.

ps. It's 9pm and I can still see the sun.

even lucky man has a bad day and pretty girl has a scar.

and his gave me his denim jacket. he's my wild dream come true.

I went on a date today. There is so much potential between us. He makes me laugh and that is such a turn on for me. OMG I'm gonna cry if I don't see him again. He makes me want to paint on canvases using just my fingers. And his breath smells really really good all the time. I feel like if i don't do something incredible to sweep him away i might lose him to another. But the temptation is so hard. Gotta keep my focus on him. I feel like he understands me. I can't wait to see him Saturday. He wants to take me on a canoe ride and feed me goldfishes. I have a little surprise for him. I hope he doesn't think i'm weird after I give it to him. It's just he really does paint a picture for me every time i look into his eyes. I haven't felt this bond in so long...

Well I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand

Without further ado

Today I went to go see Need For Speed and they used a Bruce Springsteen song title "Born To Run" and it just gave me a really nice inspiration to drive out to my favorite bridge and watch the stars. Now I'm listening to these old mix cds that i'm transferring to my computer and 500 miles is really making me miss these small road trips. I am just waiting for the day that I get to road trip through New Mexico and Colorado. I just got my film back after waiting 2 weeks to get them processed. It breaks my heart that film is slowly dying but after seeing my pictures, i'm so anxious to get as many scanned. I experimented with black and white film and i'm so proud of the results. On one of my road trips to Wimberley, Tx I was able to visit the infamous haunted bar called "The Devil's Backbone" and there were confederate flags on the ceiling and the ladie's restroom was flooding and it was just really bad timing but I was able to refresh myself with a beer. The only really good thing about that place was the jukebox. I remember it played this beautiful country song about a girl getting away. On one of my stops in Wimberley, we got off at a art museum and the owner gave us free postcards. I can't wait to show you these prints. I'm already looking into another place in Texas not to far from here that I want to go adventure and take pictures of.

So many crazy moments have happened these past few weeks but most of all I do want to say thank you to the people who have let me be apart of this phase in their life and I couldn't be any more happier. I have gotten signs that I never thought I could possibly recieve. As much as it has overwhelmed it, it is something I hope I can have for a long time. I have not been this excited for anything in my whole life and I really feel good about it. I have said things that have not come true but I am building up to those dreams and I will savor every moment getting there. I got to see The Fray in Austin this past week. It was Ben's first show coming back as a new Dad and Isaac's last show before he becomes one. I must say it was emotional for me because I had missed them so much and everything went by so quickly. Ah man, 2014 is going to be a great year. Hopefully I can write more, I miss collecting my thoughts on here. Goodbye friend.

Well I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand
Did it make it any easier to leave me where I stand?
I guess there might not be too many who would stand beside you now
Where'd you come from? Where am I going?
Why'd you leave me 'till I'm only good for...

Waiting for you
All my sins...
I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

Every night these silhouettes appear above my head
Little angels of the silences that climb into my bed and whisper
Every time I fall asleep Every time I dream
"Did you come? Would you lie?
Why'd you leave us 'till we're only good for...

Waiting for you"
All my sins...
I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

I dream of Michelangelo when I'm lying in my bed
Little angels hang above my head and read me like an open book
Suck my blood, break my nerve offer me their arms
Well, I will not be an enemy of anything
I'll only stand here

Waiting for you
All my sins...
I said that I would pay for them if I could come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming