You were waiting for me, waiting for me.

It's Monday, May 7th, 2012 10:39 p.m and exactly seven days ago, I was seeing The Fray perform live. Two years went by where I didn't get to see them. Two years waiting silently. Hah but did they make the greatest comeback ever. Seeing them sing the best songs I had ever heard just made all of this time worth it.. :) Just like that their back in my life and everything that I once knew is starting to fade away and all I can think about is this band and thier music and life is worth it again. I smile and laugh not because of anyone special but because of them. I have something to look forward to again no matter how long I have to wait. I know when that moment arrives, it will be the most beautiful thing. I know I might sound like i'm sixteen again but I can't help how they make me feel. If you asked me what the best feeling in the world is I would tell you, them. Their the only ones I know that won't ever leave me. Their music will always be there for me. I read some article somewhere where Isaac says they are nowhere where they need to be. I got so happy when I read that.

Take Care...

Everything is different now. I don't remember who I am anymore. I drink more than I should and i don't know if it's just me growing up. I still love the same things. I love music more than anything in the world and that will never change. But these Boys are really starting to get into my head. They are fucking my head up with bullshit. I'm tired of being with the wrong people. I need to get my head back and start thinking about what really matters. Does drinking every night, matter? Do boys, matter? I am having so much fun but it feels like it comes with a big bag of bullshit after bullshit. The soundtrack since October has been Take Care. It's been one hell of a ride.

Let’s let go from the get go.

Let go let God.
Let it go.
Leave it alone.
Let it pass.
Let it be.
Laissez-faire.
C’est la vie.
What’s done is done.
Hang up on it.
Land the plane.
Don’t get on that train.
The bus has already left.
This too shall pass.
Shake it off.
Cut your losses.
Bust loose.
Break free.
It’s water under the bridge.
What comes around goes around.
Go around.
Get over it.
Get it together.
Get a grip.
Get moving.
Keep moving.
Move on.
Move forward.
Forward.
March.
Give it a rest.
Stop.
Drop it.
Squash it.
Release.
Please.
Relax.
Spilled water cannot be poured back.
Don’t look back.
Enough is enough.
Stand down.
Stay still.
Be quiet.
Quit dwelling.
Yield.
Forget it.
Forgive it.
Right now.
As is.
You will be given back the years that the locusts have taken.

- Buddy Wakefield

I can't find my phone. I went on an adventure with my friend Cameron today. His red hair really makes me smile and his freckles suit him. I took pictures of him all day and we ate sonic and i dropped off my disposable and now I have more pictures to hang on my wall. I am so happy.

I turned in my portfolio today. i felt so weird turning it end and realizing that it's over. i learned so much and i can't wait to take photo 2. After class was over me and the gang went out to eat mexican food. I didn't want to go but everyone wanted me to go and i couldn't hesitate. idk, i felt like everything was going to be alright. :) summer will be good this year. I am already going to hang out with a few good friends and i am counting on that to make my summer. I think Proffesor Barr, enjoyed me in his class. I think he knows something. He is always smiling at me and it makes me happy. I can't wait to be inspired. I hope I continue to meet new people and take pictures of each moment. Honestly, i just want to be happy. I need to remember what's real and what's not.

Last night I went to Market Street in the woodlands. That place reminds me so much of my friend anna and the fray. I'm having this memory when anna drove me there and we ate crepts and we thought we saw a famous actor. I forgot his name since it has been so long. and when anna walked in on this lady when she was using the restroom. i remember we laughed so hard. I miss that summer. I remember the rainy nights that we would stay up until 5 am playing sims and driving to walmart to pick up supplies for our scrapbook. we wanted to add so much to it. i already had polaroids and we printed out pictures of us together haha. i remember when anna invited me to the park to watch a concert and we ate strawberries and french food. and when we watched all her home videos with her mom and anna told me stories of her grandpa. and we played the wii, and then when my old best friend adam came over and we all hung out. and that get together we had on 4th of july. adam got so high and we all ate crappy hotdogs haha. oh and the first dinner i had at her house. it was an amazing experience staying at a french person's house. oooh and when me and anna got a little drunk and we cried. it was fun while it lasted and i can say that it was the most fun I have ever had with someone. I wish she didn't go to school in dallas. i wish we stayed friends forever. Anna if you're reading this, we really really really need to hang out again.

I am seeing Augustana next month and it will be good. I think this will be the 7th or 8th time I will see them. I need to make a lists of the many times I've seen my favorite people. I had one but i think it's lost. My room is piled up with so many memories of earlier days. I need to remember them. and I also need to send julia the box of letters so she can laminate them into a book. We've been thinking about doing it for four years now. and that tattoo. "Picture this forever" I can't wait for everything to begin. For sometime I have been forgetting about what I truly desire and that's taking photographs. I have let myself get caught up in the real world that I have forgotten how to dream a little bit. I have decided I will close my eyes and let these past few months go to sleep and I will dream again. And I will also write in here more often.

Thank YOU Alex Dezen for making my dream come true.

this band. this song. right now.