Last night I went to Market Street in the woodlands. That place reminds me so much of my friend anna and the fray. I'm having this memory when anna drove me there and we ate crepts and we thought we saw a famous actor. I forgot his name since it has been so long. and when anna walked in on this lady when she was using the restroom. i remember we laughed so hard. I miss that summer. I remember the rainy nights that we would stay up until 5 am playing sims and driving to walmart to pick up supplies for our scrapbook. we wanted to add so much to it. i already had polaroids and we printed out pictures of us together haha. i remember when anna invited me to the park to watch a concert and we ate strawberries and french food. and when we watched all her home videos with her mom and anna told me stories of her grandpa. and we played the wii, and then when my old best friend adam came over and we all hung out. and that get together we had on 4th of july. adam got so high and we all ate crappy hotdogs haha. oh and the first dinner i had at her house. it was an amazing experience staying at a french person's house. oooh and when me and anna got a little drunk and we cried. it was fun while it lasted and i can say that it was the most fun I have ever had with someone. I wish she didn't go to school in dallas. i wish we stayed friends forever. Anna if you're reading this, we really really really need to hang out again.

I am seeing Augustana next month and it will be good. I think this will be the 7th or 8th time I will see them. I need to make a lists of the many times I've seen my favorite people. I had one but i think it's lost. My room is piled up with so many memories of earlier days. I need to remember them. and I also need to send julia the box of letters so she can laminate them into a book. We've been thinking about doing it for four years now. and that tattoo. "Picture this forever" I can't wait for everything to begin. For sometime I have been forgetting about what I truly desire and that's taking photographs. I have let myself get caught up in the real world that I have forgotten how to dream a little bit. I have decided I will close my eyes and let these past few months go to sleep and I will dream again. And I will also write in here more often.

Thank YOU Alex Dezen for making my dream come true.

this band. this song. right now.

this song last autumn will be this year's too.

"I dreamt about you last night, and I fell out of bed twice"

I almost dreamt of you last night. It looked just like you.

My 50 mm came in the mail today. I am so happy right now. I love you so much October. You are the most special month for me. Oh. man. Oh. man.

And sad the time I tried to find a way to occupy a way since you been away

Hey Jack it's me, I don't mean to bother you but somethings been on my mind.

You're back in my head and all of a sudden everything else has lost meaning. Can't you see that I'm at the end of my rope. I don't have you anymore to keep me on my feet. I want to see things again and smile and not feel sad all the time. I want to forget everything else that doesn't matter and have you push me forward. Can't you see that all I want is for you to be around. My eyes are foggy. I've been crying. And it's been ten months. I've tried everything. I realize that nothing can make me as happy as you. I need to hear you soon or I'll go crazy. I've never been this empty in my life. I honestly feel like I've been robbed of something. God, your eyes haunt me still. and right now, flashes of you fill my mind as I sit here and wait. I have been so patient. Be here. now. :(