Blue and Black

During my birthday weekend I met a guy that flew from California to be in a wedding at the Hotel Galvez in Galveston, Tx. The whole reason I was staying at the hotel was to experience the ghost bride in my hotel room who hung herself waiting for her love to come back to her. I do want to say it was an unforgettable night. Despite some bullshit I had to deal with from a certain person, everything that happened was unpredictable. I never saw any of it coming. I definitely needed that one magical person to make my night unforgettable. Just his company made it worthwhile. And like all beautiful things, he's gone and I'm left with the loveliest memory. I can't believe it's going to be a year since I have been single. I can't say I am happy about it, since it's been a long time. But I do feel like I am growing up to be a better person and I want people to notice that. The entire year alone I have accomplished so much. I stopped all the bullshit partying and got back to college. I lost 25 pounds and my lifestyle has changed completely. I have never been more focused on myself in my entire 23 years of life. I still try and go on adventures at least once a month. The discovery of new places and people and music and art still inspire me more than ever. The itch to photograph every moment has been overwhelming and I wish I could share my joy with the world lol. :) My next adventure will be Wimberly, TX. I'll be going backpacking on the hills and the infamous, "Devil's backbone" maybe get an experience in. It's such a thrill what it does for me. It's crazy feeling like you are a part of another world. It is an escape. Anyway, after that, I'll return to New Orleans for Fat Tuesday and take everything in. It's amazing what being in a different city does to you.

overwhelmed. 

I love you October.

November 15th will be everything I dreamed of in a nutshell. New York, NY, I am coming for you. And there is nothing that is going to stop me from going. I have been ready for this moment my whole life. For so long I've dreamed of you. You've been every song and every lost moment I've ever had. Experiencing you for the first time is going to ruin me because I know that I won't want to leave. Oh New York, please be gentle with me. I won't know what to do when it all gets to much. You'll be moving so fast and I'll get overly excited. I'm gonna come up with a list of things to do while I'm there. and I will write it on here once I have everything down. 3 days won't be much but I will make the most of you, I promise. PS.

"But never have I been a blue calm sea. I have always been a storm."

I saw my first firefly today :)

Its humid and hot in Texas and I can't bike anywhere without getting net bugs all over my face and shirt.

If you see these tears fill in my eyes
It's just the wind that makes me cry
If you could feel this pain inside
It's from the drinks we drank last night

I've been emotional lately. It's the kind of emotion you hide so people don't see how you're feeling. and it isn't over major things revolving my life, it's more like tearing up over small casualties and feeling all of that inside of me and seeing it in everyone and playing out certain kinds of scenes in my head. It's hard to be tough when I have so much weakness in me. So i've been walking around with this fake ego and trying so hard not to crack. i'm just trying to be someone and maybe someone will actually find me normal. I can't believe that at 22 years old I'd act this way but I can't change who I am. I want to fast forward time, honestly I do. IDK because then I wouldn't want to miss out on the good stuff like, getting somewhere in Life. Do I want wrinkles just yet or saggy breasts and menopause and all the other things that come with getting old, because I can't get enough of hearing it from them. I'm scared.