I think the worst part of today was finding out Walgreens doesn't develop 35mm film instantly anymore. I'm losing all hope.

bastard of midnight

i'm having this moment where everything is moving so fast and i just want to freeze time because i'm not ready to move forward. i feel stuck and i don't feel like I should and i'm lost and confused and alone and there's nothing holding me together. I feel like i've lost a limb and it's so hard to do this. i've neglected so many things and i have changed so much but there's a part of me that doesn't want to grow up. and even though i fucked everything up, i have so much hope inside of me. hope that everything is going to get better and that i'm not always going to feel this emotional about people leaving and always being let down. i don't know what happened to me. i used to stand up tall all by myself and i have forgotten to remind myself for that. i wish i had someone to tell me everything is going to be ok.