You make my dreams

Hall & Oates - "You make my dreams" in my head. Melissa's package came todayyy. Full of Meese posters. I can't wait to put them to good use. I'm making a second round of cookie making and garden
state watching tonight all by myself. I love spending alone time. I haven't had a dream in a long time and last night I had one of Isaac Slade speaking Spanish.
I literally woke myself up laughing haha. I spent the whole day looking for a job :) I think I might start working at Walmart. I always think of Tibby (from the Sisterhood) and how miserable she looked working there haha. But I won't give up after that horrible call of not getting
the job at Sears. I know they liked me but I don't think I did a good job of presenting myself. It's all how you present yourself to others. I need to work on that. I'm gonna spend the rest of the
evening reading Catcher in the Rye and cooking my famouse cabbage and meat with my mom. I need stamps. If anyone wants to buy me a pack of that, I will love you forever.

Highlight of the week: Max burping, The Fray in the studio, Buying fishes

evening sun

Go your separate way now
Someday you'll come back
And I'll be dreaming I was sunburned
I don't wanna break your heart in...
Break you heart in two halves
Keep one half
And give one half to me
I like the summer-
Miss the summer
Tell me, what'd you do?
Nothing? Me too...

Actors they're pretending
And singers they will sometimes lie
Kids are always honest
Cause they don't think their ever gonna die
Oh your the pretty smartest captain of the team
I love you more than being seventeen

you gotta get free to live

I miss October, I miss The Morning Light, I miss Harrison and Bobby. I miss watching my mom from the rear view mirror on my way to school listening to them. I can't wait for their new album and when they come back here. I have my second interview this Wednesday. I almost gave up on that job until they called me today. I am so happy. I can't wait to start working again. It will be so worth it. Hopefully things will start changing now that I will have money for myself.

Take a drink just to give me some weight,

I feel like I should have blogged about this right after it happened but after some time I like to have all those frozen pictures and moments come back to me. So about two weeks ago I spent a weekend at Rice University and it was one of my favorite parts of this summer. I took polaroids and pictures and wrote letters and got my converse muddy. I surrounded myself with some of the most intelligent people. I spent time in the courtyards of the college and watched students move into there dorms. I got smiles from everyone all over. It was so real. I saw many types of people. It's great to know how different everyone is from each other. I hope to go back. Here are a few pictures I took. Thanks ifranview and my cheap digital for being so good to me.

That's one of the few things I enjoyed about visiting Rice. :) :) I wrote that to The Damnwells on there myspace page. I hope it makes them smile.


(that's somewhere close to downtown and the heights. i love how everything in the heights looks vintage. if i stay here i'm moving there hah)

Brothers on a hotel bed

Today was a good day. Rachel picked me up and we had a picnik. When we were walking to the field, we looked up and noticed a rainbow circling all over the sun. We spent some time looking at it with our sun shades on, it was beautiful. We hadn't seen anything like it before so it was momentous for both of us. I told her I wanted us to be right underneath it while we sat and ate. It was under a pine tree and right in the center when we looked up was that beautiful rainbow view. :) I remember out of nowhere Rachels tells me "Do you know why I like hanging out with you so much? Because your a dreamer" That makes me smile sincerely. She says no one else she knows of can dream the way I do. I hope I don't seem weird to her sometimes even though we pretty much are best friends. We spent the rest of the afternoon in her room. I'm waiting for mail. I love mail so much. I just found out The Fray's merch line is selling this:haha The Poop Bag :] Max is gonna look so good in that blue one. It's perfectt.

For whatever reason I'm always gonna laugh at Max napping by my feet as I was the dishes. I only realized this because when I was a little girl I held onto my mother's legs as she would do the same thing haha. Max is 6 months now. My little puppy is not so little anymore. If I ever had a kid, I'd want it to be a boy. Job interview tomorrow. I believe God had a lot to do with it. I hope I'm impressing to them. So here's to that.

August and everything after

They're wakin' up Maria 'cause everybody else has got some place to go
She makes a little motion with her head,
Rolls over,
And she says she's gonna sleep for a couple minutes more
I've said "I'm sorry" to Maria for the cold hearted thing that i have done
I've said "I'm sorry", by now, at least once to just about everyone
She says, "I've forgotten what I'm supposed to do today,"
And it slips my mind what I'm supposed to say?
We're getting older and older, and older
And always a little further out of the way
You look into her eyes and it's more than your heart will allow
In August and Everything After, you get a little less than you expected, somehow...

I stumbled into Washington Square just as the sun began to rise
I lay down on the lawn of the cathedral
Right down with the shadow of St. Mary's in the sky
And I'm just one of these late model children waiting for the king
Yeah, but there ain't no sign of Elvis in San Fransisco
It's just me, and I'm playing this rock and roll thing
And She wants to be just like me
And I want every damn thing I can see.
One day you're Daddy's little angel,
The next day you're everything he wanted you to be
They dress you up in white satin
And they give you your very own pair of wings
In August and Everything After, I'm after everything.

I SAID AND LA LA LA LA...

Well now I got my reservations and I got myself a million-dollar home
And I got, I got the number of some girl in New York City
Who's always wide awake so I never have to spend the night alone
I got this nasty little habit of peeking down the shirts
Of all the little girls as they pass me by
And i wonder if it all catches up to me
Do you think they'll take me down?
Do you think i'm gonna cry?
Well, I've already got your disease,
So take your f*cking filthy hands off of me
Well I hope you weren't expecting me to be crucified,
The best that they can do is just to hang me from the nearest tree

IT'S MIDNIGHT IN SAN FRANCISCO,
AND I AM WAITING HERE FOR JESUS ON MY KNEES
IN AUGUST AND EVERYTHING AFTER
I WANT SOMEBODY ELSE TO BLEED FOR ME
I SAID LA LA LA LA... NA NA....

WELL I CAME DOWN FROM NORTH DAKOTA
'CAUSE I HAD CONFIDENCE IN THE MILITARY MIND
AND NOW, EVERYONE I KNOW IS TURNING SHOW GIRL
AND IS DANCING WITH THEIR SHIRT OFF IN SOME LAS VEGAS HOTEL LINE
SO I'M GOING TO NEW YORK CITY 'CAUSE IT GOTTA LITTLE SLEAZY HERE FOR ME
WHEN I FIND MYSELF ALONE I KNOW I'M NEVER GOING HOME
I MAKE THE CHANGES THE CHANGES THAT I NEED
BUT I NO LONGER KNOW HOW TO PRAY
AND I'M LIVING IN A DOG TOWN AND IT'S A DALMATION PARADE
I CHANGE MY SPOTS, OVER AND OVER
BUT THEY NEVER SEEM TO FADE AWAY
NOW I AM THE LAST REMAINING INDIAN
LOOKING FOR THE PLACE WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM
IN AUGUST AND EVERYTHING AFTER, MAN THEM BUFFALO AIN'T NEVER COMING HOME
I SAID IN AUGUST AND EVERYTHING AFTER, MAN THEM BUFFALO AIN'T NEVER COMING HOME
I SAID NA NA ... LA LA ...

I just had two strange dreams that had to deal with meteorites and space.
My second dream was about a The Fray concert. We were in this huge stadium somewhere out in space and Isaac came towards us and asked us to sing "look after you" and we did and he whispered to us that it sounded beautiful and more better than last time..then all of a sudden Rachel's and my seat flew all the way up into outer space and it took us, like a roller coaster, everywhere around the planets. We were moving so fast and then we landed by these bleachers that stetched far far away from the stadium and we were put there to see the show and it was the most beautiful view ever. Isaac sung "Where The Story Ends" and David was playing his guitar. Isaac was wearing all white and David was wearing a long white sheet. At one point Isaac didn't even ask the crowd to sing and they sung very monsterous and loud like they would in a big stadium. Everyone and I mean everyone knew the words. Picture that :)

New York City is evil

Summer time and the wind is blowing outside
In lower Chelsea and I don't know
What I'm doing in this city
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
And I'm sleeping on the couch
When I came to visit you
That's when I knew I could never have you
I knew that before you did
Still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I never been so alone
And I've never been so alive
Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes
And you don't mind, you smile
And say the world doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you, you're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you
And there's things I'd like to do
That you don't believe in
I would like to build something
But you never see it happen
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've, I've never been so alive
And there's this burning
There is this burning
Where's the soul I want to know
New York City is evil
The surface is everything but I could never do that
Someone would see through that
And this is our last time
We'll be friends again
I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am
And there's this burning
Just like there's always been
I've never been so alone alone
And I've, and I've never been so alive
So alive
I go home to the coast
It starts to rain I paddle out on the water
Alone
Taste the salt and taste the pain
I'm not thinking of you again
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this rolling wave
Darkly coming to take me
Home
And I've never been so alone
And I've never been so alive

that right there was one of the best moments that happened to me last night. I feel genuinely happy as of yesterday..I know there is a reason for all of this. So I wrote every detail down on paper. I always want to remember it, as long as I live. God, I don't know anymore. That way in which they sounded on stage last night sincerely reminded me how special/talented "meese" is. I saw how hard they worked to be where they are now. I'm so happy to be apart of it. I'm so happy they were introduced to me by my favorite band. I'm so happy. I don't care what anyone bad thinks. If it wasn't for "The Fray", I wouldn't have known what I know today. It's so funny how everything works out. It's fitting you knoww. I love it.

i'm still looking for you

I hope you're somewhere warm and white, like the flowers in your car
That you've escaped the labriynth of suffering wherever you are
I have a piece of you tucked away deep inside my mind
Memories of your poetry and drinking your cheap wine

Thomas Edison's last words were it's very beautiful over there
I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere
And I hope it's beautiful, like you
You're beautiful, I never really knew you at all

Your green eyes still shine with life in my memory
Your smell of grass and vanilla and smoke are still alive in me
I found my great perhaps in Blue Citrus and the smoking hole
Your end was my beginning with the kiss that I stole

Thomas Edison's last words were it's very beautiful over there
I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere
And I hope it's beautiful, like you
You're beautiful, I never really knew you at all

Thomas Edison's last words were it's very beautiful over there
I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere
And I hope it's beautiful, like you
You're beautiful, did anyone ever really know you at all?

You were the storm that came and went like lightning
You struck me by surprise with the life I thought you might bring
Someday I'll forget your boozey breath that I can taste still
We'll always have Crest and pranks and Strawberry Hill

Thomas Edison's last words were it's very beautiful over there
I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere
And I hope it's beautiful, like you
You're beautiful, and I'm still looking for you
Alaska

Lyrics written by Hank Green. It's called 'Looking For Alaska. It's about the book of the same name. I' have never heard this song but I really do like the lyrics. I think more songs should be written about books.

Pablo Neruda: Sonnet XVII

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where "I" does not exist, nor "you",
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."